Undeserving

Contradiction

Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it. (Matthew 7:13-14 NIV)

The Holy Spirit had me rewatch the movie God's Not Dead. It's a feel-good movie targeting Christian audiences. Its main focus is on a young college student who stands up for his faith in class. The professor is an atheist who demands his students profess in writing, "God is dead," before he commences with the class term. The student can't do that because of his faith and the professor ridicules him. Because the student stands his ground, the professor challenges the student to defend his ideas in front of the class. The student proposes the class judge the results. It's the kind of thing Christians wish would actually happen in college classrooms, but doesn't.

There are other characters in the movie who experience similar challenges. There is the foreign student who has never heard about Jesus before, the hostile reporter looking for the "gotcha interview" who learns she has cancer, the self-centered businessman who has no time for God, the Christian girlfriend who is "unequally yoked," and the Muslim daughter who secretly listens to teachings about Christianity. There are also a couple of pastors who walk around experiencing miracles and repeatedly saying, "God is good, all the time." In the end, several of them end up at a Newsboys concert and enjoy a mosh pit experience with hundreds of other concertgoers.

Once again, there was nothing about repentance in this movie. It's another "Jesus loves me" story.

Are concerts like this biblical? Is this how Jesus did things? Is this a "wide gate"?

When things are easy, they are cheap. When trouble comes there will be no root.

I attended a number of Christian concerts early in my walk, and we took our kids and their friends to some of them. We also sent them to camps where the "gospel" was preached.

That is always a feature at these events, typically near the end. The audience is led through a "sinner's prayer," or something similar, followed by some sort of altar-call or other form of commitment. That's what I was exposed to at first, and I struggled to find faith through that route. Thankfully, my early "I believe" experience planted seeds of curiosity about Scripture in me, and my persistent nature of studying things was useful to the Holy Spirit. He led me through the Biblical Gospel summarized at the top of this blog¹.

Unfortunately, what we exposed our children to during their formative years was the "altar-call" stuff, and I am afraid it did not lead to faith with roots. As they go through this season of losing their mother, they are hurting terribly like me, but they seem to be turning to the world for comfort rather than God. They are running away from me and I don't know why. They won't talk to me. They seem angry, and I understand that. So am I. Anger is part of the grieving process. I am confident we will eventually get through this, however.

What concerns me most is how the Church has handled our situation. To be frank, they really haven't. Close friends and family offered some support, especially at first, but that is to be expected, even from the world. The Church is supposed to be different. I am convinced my kids see no value in the Church at this point because it has done nothing to demonstrate it is even relevant.

My grandmother died when we were part of a church group. Many from that group came to visit my family, brought food, listened to stories and gave hugs. That was for the funeral of someone they did not know. I remember the love they showed truly impressed people. The person who died this time was formerly one of their own, and the response has not been the same. It is very sad.

Some will say that I get no support from the Church because I have turned my back on them. My response is: That's not the Church. The various denominations and religious clubs scattered around Midland are not Jesus' Church. They are something else. God specifically pulled me out of those things and set me up in the center of town to plant a flag and demonstrate what is right. And I am standing firm because that is what Jesus has called me to do.

There is one Church in Midland, just like there was one Church in each of the cities listed in Revelation: Ephesus, Smyrna, Pergamum, Thyatira, Sardis, Philadelphia, and Laodicea. Each "Church" was the assembly (ἐκκλησίας) of true Israelites in each of those communities, and the same holds true today. What visibly exists is unbiblical.

My physical needs are met. As I said previously, God is taking good care of me. What I crave is fellowship. I would like to talk about my wife, our life together, and most importantly about what God is doing. I know I am being tested, but so is the Church. Jesus' Church. Where are they? Jesus commands his disciples (apprentices) to love each other. Not the world. Each other.

Do not love the world or anything in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For everything in the world--the cravings of sinful man, the lust of his eyes and the boasting of what he has and does--comes not from the Father but from the world. The world and its desires pass away, but the man who does the will of God lives forever. (1 John 2:15-17 NIV 1984)

[To his disciples:] As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love. If you keep my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commands and remain in his love. I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete. My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. You are my friends if you do what I command. I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you. You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you so that you might go and bear fruit—fruit that will last—and so that whatever you ask in my name the Father will give you. This is my command: Love each other. (John 15:9-17 NIV)

He said it twice, so it must be important.

I tremble for those who live in my community who call themselves "the Church." I am not their judge -- Jesus is. And these are His standards...

When the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, he will sit on his glorious throne. All the nations will be gathered before him, and he will separate the people one from another as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats. He will put the sheep on his right and the goats on his left.

Then the King will say to those on his right, "Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me."

Then the righteous will answer him, "Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?"

The King will reply, "Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me."

Then he will say to those on his left, "Depart from me, you who are cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels. For I was hungry and you gave me nothing to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me nothing to drink, I was a stranger and you did not invite me in, I needed clothes and you did not clothe me, I was sick and in prison and you did not look after me."

They also will answer, "Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or needing clothes or sick or in prison, and did not help you?"

He will reply, "Truly I tell you, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me."

Then they will go away to eternal punishment, but the righteous to eternal life. (Matthew 25:31-46 NIV)

Losing a lifelong spouse is one of the most heartbreaking and awful things that can happen to a person, especially when it is sudden, unexpected, and traumatic. I've lost grandparents, a parent, and newborns. Nothing compares to this. Nothing.

My sincere hope is there are some who seek the "narrow gate" in my community who will make themselves known. I suspect some do not know what to do, and may be afraid of going outside of the established structures they are familiar with. I believe Jesus wants to help them. I will try to do the same.

All glory to God.

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UPDATE, July 13, 2021...

¹This was the heading text at the top of the blog when this post was written:

I do not deserve the mercy nor the grace extended to me...

Repent and believe, be immersed in water in the Name of Jesus for the remission of your sins and receive the gift of the Holy Spirit!

This is the true Gospel.
If there is anything good in me, it is from Above.
If I have any knowledge or understanding, it is from the Holy Spirit.

If I have any confidence in myself, I am a fool.

Yeshua is my King!

UPDATE, July 26, 2022...

I believe many people confuse their "neighbors" with their "brothers and sisters." We are commanded to love both, but is there a difference between those two categories of people and should we be treating them differently? I believe the Bible gives us the answers.

Jesus teaches us about our "neighbors" by telling The Parable of the Good Samaritan. He was conversing with a religious professional. The story illustrates that loving our neighbor is showing mercy to those who are truly in need. Those in need can be anyone, even our enemy or those who are very different from us. Samaritans and Israelites did not get along with each other.

Many ministries have been set up to cater to the needs of our neighbors, and that is fine. Sometimes those neighbors abuse the generosity they receive. God will deal with them in his own way and in his own time. Our job is to make sure the truly needy get help, and we are to exhort everyone to repent. We must remember that our "neighbors" are still of the "world." They are not yet in the Kingdom, and sadly may never be.

Jesus taught his "brothers and sisters" in private to love each other. The quotation from John 15 in the main text, above, was from his discourse during his Last Supper with his disciples. The crowds and the religious professionals did not hear any of that discussion, only his guys. Jesus was talking about a different kind of love, a love that is through the Holy Spirit and something the world cannot understand. He was talking about building each other up to be more and more like His example. All of the New Testament writings after the Book of Acts are about building up brothers and sisters to be like Jesus. Those writings are not addressed to the "world" or to "our neighbors." They are only for our fellow saints. I discussed this elsewhere (here and here).

As I said in the main text, above, we are not to love the "world." James summarized it well...

You adulterous people,^[a] don’t you know that friendship with the world means enmity against God? Therefore, anyone who chooses to be a friend of the world becomes an enemy of God. Or do you think Scripture says without reason that he jealously longs for the spirit he has caused to dwell in us^[b]? (James 4:4-5 NIV)

^[a] An allusion to covenant unfaithfulness; see Hosea 3:1...

The Lord said to me, “Go, show your love to your wife again, though she is loved by another man and is an adulteress. Love her as the Lord loves the Israelites, though they turn to other gods and love the sacred raisin cakes.” (Hosea 3:1 NIV)

^[b] Or that the spirit he caused to dwell in us envies intensely; or that the Spirit he caused to dwell in us longs jealously

I find myself being jealous for the love of my brothers and sisters in Christ. I want to spend time with them, special time. But many of them are busy serving the neighbors, and the neighbors take up a lot of their energy. I discussed that in a more recent post.

Envy and jealousy are not the same thing. Envy is wanting something that doesn't belong to me, or that I cannot have. Jealousy is wanting what is, and should be, mine. Am I jealous? You bet! And so is Jesus.

We need to discern the difference between our neighbors and our brothers/sisters, and treat them appropriately.

UPDATE, October 10, 2022...

I think "spiritual siblings" is a more precise term than "brothers/sisters." It can help us avoid becoming deceived about and entangled with false brethren.

UPDATE, December 17, 2022...

😢

Sap

I believe many Christians see themselves as separated from the Jews. Some believe God abandoned the Jews because they killed Jesus. But are those notions true?

I don't think they are, and am convinced that kind of thinking is grave error. You can consider my reasoning by reading my posts about Paul's Mystery.

The Apostle Paul wrote a letter, "to all in Rome who are loved by God and called to be his holy people" (Romans 1:7 NIV, in part). He told non-Jews how they could become part of Israel through Jesus, and he used an olive tree as a metaphor...

...if the root [of the olive tree] is holy, so are the branches.

If some of the branches have been broken off, and you, though a wild olive shoot, have been grafted in among the others and now share in the nourishing sap from the olive root, do not consider yourself to be superior to those other branches. If you do, consider this: You do not support the root, but the root supports you. You will say then, “Branches were broken off so that I could be grafted in.” Granted. But they were broken off because of unbelief, and you stand by faith. Do not be arrogant, but tremble. For if God did not spare the natural branches, he will not spare you either.

Consider therefore the kindness and sternness of God: sternness to those who fell, but kindness to you, provided that you continue in his kindness. Otherwise, you also will be cut off. And if they do not persist in unbelief, they will be grafted in, for God is able to graft them in again. After all, if you were cut out of an olive tree that is wild by nature, and contrary to nature were grafted into a cultivated olive tree, how much more readily will these, the natural branches, be grafted into their own olive tree! (Romans 11:16-24 NIV)

Isaiah used the olive tree metaphor when he talked about the coming Messiah...

A shoot will come up from the stump of Jesse; from his roots a Branch will bear fruit.

In that day the Root of Jesse will stand as a banner for the peoples; the nations will rally to him, and his resting place will be glorious. (Isaiah 11:1 and 11:10 NIV)

Jesse was King David's father. David was the second King of Israel. When Israel sinned and adopted the practices of the peoples of the land, God sent them into exile. He cut back "the olive tree" to a stump. Jesus is the Branch that Isaiah said would come from the "stump of Jesse."

I believe we must be grafted into Israel if we are to be part of the Kingdom of Israel. The "root" supports us. If we are not part of the "Israel tree," we will not receive the nourishment we need, and we will eventually die spiritually.

Dead stumps and branches can look alive...for a while. I cut down and dug up this buckthorn plant from my property, and I set it out by the street for the city to haul away. It sprouted leaves while it sat by the curb, completely uprooted. It appeared to be alive even though it was dead.

Twenty years ago, I was at the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier in Washington, D.C., right after I read the book about Paul's Mystery. While standing there, I left¹ my US citizenship (in my heart) and became a citizen of spiritual Israel. (I am not talking about the secular State of Israel.) It was the hardest thing I had ever done, and it changed me. I had to live someplace, so I retained my US passport and other credentials, but in my heart I was an Israelite. Still am.

Shortly after that, I left my job and had my Burned Toast experience. Years later, I was set free.

Recently², I learned:

A citizen is actually someone who is obliged to serve the government.
Most Americans have been tricked into identifying as a US Citizen and/or citizen of the US.
Those people actually have no rights under the Constitutions (plural).
They are a subject of the British Monarch and/or a slave of the Roman Catholic Pope.

This all happened after the American Civil War, which was not actually a declared war, but was instead a mercenary conflict between two government services corporations. Most Americans should be considered sovereign state nationals, but the government presumes they are citizens in order to secretly mistreat them. Apparently, being a "citizen" has lots of disadvantages in the current situation. I alluded to the effective "slavery" in my Larvae and Placebos posts.

I now feel pretty good about my decision at the Tomb, and realize the Holy Spirit led me to do something I knew nothing about twenty years before it became known to me. I believe that action spiritually set me free from some things, and it grafted me into some authority most people do not experience.

I am telling you this because I love you and want you to experience the amazing things and freedom I seem to have... by the grace of God. I believe I am grafted into the stump of Jesse and I am receiving the πιότητος (piotētos, meaning "fatness" or nourishment) from that tree. Many people I encounter have faith and knowledge of Jesus, and some have discovered they have access to incredible spiritual power as they heal the sick and cast out demons, but the Darkness persistently seems to prevent them from understanding the things I try to proclaim about Paul's Mystery. Do people not understand this because they are not grafted into the Israel Olive Tree?

Please take these ideas into your prayer closet and ask God what He thinks about them, and what He wants you to do. I believe it is critically important.

All glory to God.

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UPDATE, September 29, 2021...

²I corrected some things in this paragraph after spending some time learning about actual history and the real American government.

UPDATE, October 13, 2021...

I will make further corrections, as necessary, as I learn more.

UPDATE, December 11, 2022...

¹Altered this word to be more precise and to avoid any misunderstandings. I had previously used the word "renounced," but have since learned that word has lawful and legal implications that I did not know about nor consider at the time I was standing at the Tomb and when I originally wrote this post. My intentions were, and are, in line with this...

And everyone who has left houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother or wife or children or lands, for My name’s sake, shall receive a hundredfold, and inherit eternal life. (Matthew 19:29 NKJV)

As I discussed in the Paul's Mystery posts, one of Jesus' names is Israel.

Nothing was ever put onto the public record, and as I stated I had no intention of officially changing anything in the temporal world. I remain at peace with everyone and consider michigan to be my home while I live and breath on this earth.

My spiritual identification with Israel is my religious belief, one of my unalienable rights.

Renumbered the second footnote to maintain correct order in the main text.

UPDATE, January 14, 2023...

the dispersion of the Jews after the Babylonian exile.
the Jews thus dispersed.
in the time of the apostles, Jewish Christians who lived outside of Palestine.

I am a Jew, one who believes in and follows Jesus but does not practice Judaism.

I am clarifying these things because I believe God intends for me to serve in the Michigan Assembly as a State Citizen, which does not allow dual citizenship. At the same time, I still believe in and identify with Spiritual Israel, of which Jesus is the King. He is the King of kings.

See my discussion in the September 3, 2022 update of the Authority post about what appears to be "Israel" today in the part of the world called Palestine. There is no land/soil jurisdiction of Jesus' Israel right now, and most adherents of Judaism would probably agree with that.

I presume Jews are welcome to serve in the Michigan Assembly along with Christians, Muslims, Buddhists, Hindus, Mormons, Scientologists, Pagans, Atheists, etc.

Hush

Who is this?

What is he known for?

Did he have any spiritual beliefs?

Did he believe in a supreme being?

Where is his left hand?

Is it hidden?

What does that mean?

Who is this?

Where is his hand?

What about this guy's hand?

First US Supreme Court Chief Justice John Jay.

Was Lincoln surrounded?

What happened to him?

President Rutherford B. Hayes.

President Harry S. Truman.

What is he wearing?

Where is his left hand?

What did he do to end the Second World War?

Who won that war?

Who really won that war?

Holding hands? Were they both part of it?

Where is Speaker Ryan's hand? Is he a Republican?

Where is President Obama's hand?

It's so awkward that it looks forced.

Why is he doing that?

Another Republican.

Look who else is in the club.

So, it's international.

And includes musicians.

And actors.

And royalty.

Is he showing more than one symbol?

What does that mean?

Who is this?

Karl Marx?

What is he known for?

Where is his hand?

Who is this?

Vladimir Lenin?

What is he known for?

Where is his hand?

Who is this?

Joe Stalin?

What is he known for?

Where is his hand?

Who are these guys?

Is that Hermann Goering on the left?

What is he known for?

Where is his hand?

Who has his hand in his pocket?

Is his hand hidden?

What kind of a handshake is that?

What symbol is that?

What does it mean?

Who is this?

Where is his hand?

What does that mean?

Is he part of the club, too?

Even bureaucrats appear to be in on the secret.

What do these people believe?

Can they be an atheist?

What do they think of atheists?

Whom do they serve?

Whom do they really serve?

Back to the original picture...

Could this man have been an atheist if he was part of this group?

What have we been taught?

Is that true?

Given who he was associated with, should we believe him?

Have we been deceived?

Who runs the world? Atheists?

If atheists ran the world, wouldn't they simply laugh at and ignore all religious people? But that doesn't happen.

The establishment that runs the world despises Jesus Christ and does everything it can to oppose those who believe in him. Why is that? What are they afraid of?

Who ARE these people. What do they believe?

Whom do they really serve?

All glory to God.

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UPDATE, August 23, 2022...

The man with the grey beard at the top and bottom of this post is Charles Darwin, author of "On the Origin of Species," the book proposing the Theory of (macro) Evolution. Be careful what you believe about what is in Wikipedia. Remember, you get what you pay for.

UPDATE, October 25, 2022...

Don't believe me? Watch this video.

This video is "Altiyan Childs Exposes Freemasonry." If it disappears, just search for it elsewhere. It's long (over five hours), but worth watching.

Possessions

...A man came up to Jesus and asked, “Teacher, what good thing must I do to get eternal life?”

“Why do you ask me about what is good?” Jesus replied. “There is only One who is good. If you want to enter life, keep the commandments.”

“Which ones?” he inquired.

Jesus replied, “‘You shall not murder, you shall not commit adultery, you shall not steal, you shall not give false testimony, honor your father and mother,’ and ‘love your neighbor as yourself.’”

“All these I have kept,” the young man said. “What do I still lack?”

Jesus answered, “If you want to be perfect, go, sell your possessions and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.”

When the young man heard this, he went away sad, because he had great wealth.

Then Jesus said to his disciples, “Truly I tell you, it is hard for someone who is rich to enter the kingdom of heaven. Again I tell you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for someone who is rich to enter the kingdom of God.”

When the disciples heard this, they were greatly astonished and asked, “Who then can be saved?”

Jesus looked at them and said, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.” (Matthew 19:16-26 NIV)

In 2006, we downsized houses and got rid of a lot of things. Later, we sold and got rid of even more, but we still had a lot left. We also acquired items from relatives as they moved on with their lives -- photographs, photographic slides, slide projectors, artwork, and various things our mothers did not have room for in their senior-living apartments. We also had a lot of things from Britain, and various keepsakes.

My wife was given a lot of "family history" records from relatives on both sides of the family. She enjoyed researching and figuring out connections. In my view, pursuing genealogies can turn into an endless endeavor, and it doesn't do much to expand the Kingdom of Heaven, so I had asked her to wrap it up. She said that she would, and was working on it because she respected my request. I often told her, "I got me the best one," and she often quoted from the movie Oblivion, "We're a more effective team."

Photographs. We collected a lot of them over the years, and with technology they are very easy to create. Many of them are stored electronically, either on our computer devices or on cloud services, but I told her I prefer having prints that I can hold in my hands and put into physical albums. She printed a lot of them, and they are sorted into boxes.

We have lots of stuff from our early marriage days. People used to have a set of fine china dishes for entertaining people and special occasions. We received ours as wedding presents. We also collected different sets when we were in Britain. So did our mothers. We have it all now, and nobody wants it. Young people just don't use fine china these days, so it all sits in boxes.

We also have ceramic figurines, ceramic houses, thimbles, and love spoons. Many of them are displayed in a curio cabinet, a china cabinet, on the fireplace mantle, or hanging on the wall. I have a large grandfather clock that I bought after my grandfather died in 1983. Our walls have many different pictures, many from Britain. There are lots of memories and emotions tied up in all of those things.

All of this household stuff is a burden to me. The house, the car, my mother's car, my mother's affairs, the garden and yard, the bills, the property taxes, the computers, the DVD's, and all of my wife's Kindle books are all worldly and they distract me from what I really want to be doing: chasing after the Kingdom. My spirit wants to do what Jesus says in the Scripture quoted above, but my flesh wants to hang on to everything. I was trying to lead my wife in that spiritual direction, and she was trying very hard to follow me. She was emotionally attached to all of our things, too. If something had been easy to get rid of, it was already gone.

This home was ours, but in my mind it was hers. She found it, she designed the landscaping and she decorated the interior. I contributed, of course, and I did most of the physical work, but in spirit it was her household. Am I supposed to move? I do not know. The place is too big for just one person. Cleaning up and getting rid of things should be easier now that she is gone. The dynamic has changed. Perhaps I can make some progress.

I was doing the best I could, and thought my wife and I had more time to be together. We make our plans, but God determines our steps. Jesus will be her judge and my judge, nobody else. This is His project and His Game¹. In chess, it is sometimes necessary to let your own queen be captured in order to ultimately win the game. There is also a way to get a queen back on the board. (I actually hope it's her.) We'll see what happens.

All glory to God.

--------------------

UPDATE, July 10, 2022...

This post triggered a rift in my family. My girls still will not talk to me, more than fourteen months later. I strongly suspect the strains were already present well before my wife's death, and I am certain she did what she could to hold relationships together. Once her influence was gone, however, reality appeared and things came apart.

I love and adore my children, and this situation continues to break my heart. I am sure their hearts are broken, too. It's been a very tough and difficult loss. I know God is in control. He wants reconciliation, and I want to do anything and everything in my power to bring it about.

My first eleven months of widowhood were very solitary. Looking back, I needed that time alone. Then I found some new friends to share with, and have had opportunities to talk about my wife, our life together, and what God has been doing.

This past week I learned my "Myers-Briggs" personality type, through the help of a friend. I had heard about that particular tool before, but in all of my professional years it was not an evaluation I ever did. I have now, and I discussed the results and implications in updates to my Engineer post.

This morning, I read through the fifteen other personality types and believe I've identified my wife's description. I believe she was an "ISFJ." You can read about it under the other post. This has given me more insight into my relationship with my wife and the dynamics between us. Despite what anyone may think, or what any psychological tools may say, we loved each other with our entire hearts and I am still heartbroken that I lost her. I know God brought us together, kept us together, and produced through us the "fruit" He wanted to produce... and that includes our children.

... This is how I continue to process things. After all, I'm an "INTJ"!!!

UPDATE, July 11, 2022...

¹Added "and His Game" to clarify this paragraph.

I love metaphors, similes, parables, etc. I guess that's how I'm wired. Maybe this is part of the reason my kids don't understand me. I wish they could just love me like their mother did. She loved me anyway, even if she didn't understand me.......

😢

UPDATE, October 14, 2025...

Milestone

Twenty two years ago today, I was baptized by immersion into Jesus Christ. It was a Sunday, just like today is a Sunday...

I found this with the certificate. It is the "testimony" I spoke to the church audience before I went underwater.

I talked about my baptism in an early post.

All glory to God.

Sunlight

Light is good; the Darkness hates it.

We used to live in a house with lots of trees. I tried to grow a garden, but it only got two hours of direct sunlight, so nothing grew.

When we moved to where I am now, my wife liked all of the trees we had, but they soon started coming down for various reasons. Some pines were just ugly, and she wanted them gone. We took out a wonderful Crimson King maple because its roots were breaking up the driveway. The top of a big white pine crashed down in an ice storm. The power company wanted a big ash tree removed because they were afraid the roots were bad and it would fall on their lines. Two of the city's big elm trees died of Dutch Elm disease, so they cut them up and hauled them away (picture). And the maple that shaded the driveway was sick and a big branch came down in a storm last June, so the city removed it. The only remaining large tree is an ash that the city regularly treats to fend off borers, but it is on the north side of the property and only shades the street. I have lots of sun now, and I like it. The grass grows more evenly and I enjoy being in the warmth. As best as I can recall, we lost eleven trees since we moved here in 2006. Eleven.

My older daughter lived in a northern Michigan community for a year, and there was a big maple in front of the apartment she rented. One day, lightning struck it and it had to be removed.

My younger daughter has a house, and a big tree that was shading it fell over in some wind. I had been advising her to get rid of it and another tree because both were too close to the house. Fortunately, the big tree fell the other way. She ended up taking my advice.

It seems like circumstances have been taking the trees away from my family and opening us up to more and more sunlight. God is in control of all things and I understand the parable.

Before my wife passed away, I was following some people online who advocate eating like our ancestors, and I shared some of their information with her. They recently posted a video about vitamin D, and I learned some things. I embedded the video at the end of this post, if you would like to watch it.¹

"Vitamin D" is a fat-soluble hormone. It is not actually a vitamin, so I am going to call it 'sun hormone' to be more accurate and descriptive.

Our bodies are designed to primarily get sun hormone from sunlight. That's why we were born naked. We can also get some from fish², but few of us do.

There are sun hormone receptors everywhere in our bodies, including the nucleus of cells.

A deficiency in sun hormone can lead to lack of sleep, or bad sleep. When we sleep, our brain is designed to paralyze us so we do not act out our dreams, but it must keep us breathing. If we are deficient in sun hormone, our brain sends out incorrect signals; our breathing becomes paralyzed but our skeletal muscles act out our dreams. Ceasing to breathe is sleep apnea, and it causes fight-or-flight stress. The bottom line is we do not get the sleep we need, and our bodies cannot restore and repair themselves.

My wife had sleep apnea as long as I knew her. She never slept well.

Sun hormone and B vitamins are crucial for restoring sleep. Gut bacteria make B vitamins, and they need sun hormone to survive and thrive. You can take all of the probiotics in the world, but without sun hormone, the gut will not be healthy. B vitamins play a huge role in sleep, and B vitamin deficiency symptoms cover everything that's wrong with everybody. We get B vitamins from eating red meat.

Severe sun hormone deficiency can lead to autoimmune disease. It also leads to rickets and other health problems. Sun hormone is crucial in the development of babies and children.

Reduced sun hormone in animals is what triggers their hibernation. Human chemistry is similar and reduced amounts of sun hormone signal that it is winter. The body conserves energy and stores fat in winter to stay alive. Those who have low sun hormone and stay out of the sun are in 'permanent winter,' and losing weight can be impossible for them.

My wife could not lose her belly fat. We tried many things, and she eventually gave up. We both supplemented with 5000 IU of D3, but I don't think that was enough to restore her system. I wish I had known about this years ago. She rarely went in the sun.

(From Ivor Cummins video, below)

We were advised to avoid the sun for years because sunlight causes cancer. But what was the specific advice, and was it right?

There are two kinds of ultraviolet light that come from the sun. One is "good" (UV-B), and the other is "bad" (UV-A). The good sunlight enables production of sun hormone, enables tan protection, and produces the effects of sunburn to give feedback and warn against over exposure. The bad sunlight does none of those things, but it destroys deep layers of the skin.

Good sunlight can lead to "cosmetic" skin cancers that are not a threat and can be easily removed. Bad sunlight can lead to malignant melanoma cancer, and that is deadly.

Good sunlight is easily stopped by glass, sunscreen, and the atmosphere. We need to be exposed to it when the sun is high in the sky if we want it to do us any good. If your shadow is shorter than your height, the sun is probably high enough to produce the good effects.

Bad sunlight goes through the atmosphere more readily, no matter the time of day. It also goes through most sunscreens and even glass. A suntan (melanin) will stop it, however.

I am programmed to stay out of the sun when it is high in the sky, wear a hat, wear sunscreen, and take my walks and do my yard work in the early morning or later in the day. Given the above information, however, that is entirely backwards. It minimizes my exposure to good sunlight and leaves me vulnerable to bad sunlight. It also minimizes my synthesis of sun hormone from sun exposure, which is how God designed my body to work.

Why were we given this advice? That is a good question. It's almost like we were given advice that would make us unhealthy.

I think my wife was deficient in sun hormone. Nobody ever tested her for it³, or questioned a possible connection between it and her systemic inflammation, sleep apnea, inability to lose weight, and her other infirmities. I am not happy about this, but there is nothing I can do about it now. At least for her.

Most people who had poor outcomes with "the virus" were either old, or had compromised health. Their bodies were not able to defend against it, and they probably had significant sun hormone deficiencies. Isolating people indoors certainly didn't help, nor did chasing people off of beaches. Given this, and all the censorship of non-"official" solutions to the problem, it seems like there was a concerted effort to NOT help people avoid getting sick. Why is that? Who are these people who have been systematically undermining our health?

What are the Georgia Guidestones? Look up the term. Listen to opinions about them and examine the evidence of what has been happening. Think for yourself. Then pray for understanding.

We do not need to continue living the way we have been. We need to deprogram from all of the error we have been taught. This is what God wants for us. He wants us to know the Truth.

All glory to Him.

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¹ Here is the video I watched:

That video recommended another video, which I also watched. It is more technical, but I think it is well worth viewing. It is good to see someone acknowledge that our bodies are "designed." Just ignore his praise of the false god, "Evolution."

Ivor Cummins video

Here is a technical article covering some of the things I discussed above and that are in the videos: Extra-Skeletal and Endocrine Functions and Toxicity of Vitamin D, Journal of Endocrinology and Diabetes, symbiosisonlinepublishing.com.

³ I looked through my wife's records and found a value for "25-HYDROXYVITAMIN D, TOTAL" from December, 2014. The value was 44 and the range was 30-80. It does not say the units.

Ivor Cummins discusses the units of 25(OH)D at 1:14:25 in the second video, above. He uses ng/ml because that is common in the research. Someone in the audience stated they had been tested and the results were in nmol/l. Ivor said that the conversion factor between the two sets of units is 2.5. He gave the optimal range as follows:

32 - 50 ng/ml
80 - 125 nmol/l

He showed this chart back at 1:12:08...

It is hard to read here because it is a screenshot. The scale across the top is in the units Ivor uses for 25(OH)D level, ng/ml. Here is a description of the ranges...

Red range -- zero through 18. He calls this range "deficient."
Orange range -- 20 through 30. He calls this range "insufficient."
Green range -- 32 through 50. He calls this range "optimal."

The dark red bar at the lower left of the chart is the range where rickets occur.

The different colored bars in the green range are "disease incidence prevention" percentages for the various diseases listed in the column on the left. The data indicate that 25(OH)D levels in the green range correlate with reduced incidences of disease. Ivor stated that 25(OH)D levels tend to plateau and reach equilibrium at 42 ng/ml, which means the body takes in what it needs and maintains it there.

As can be seen from the black distribution curve, 70% of the US population has insufficient or deficient levels of 25(OH)D, or "sun hormone," as I have been calling it. Apparently it was only 50% fifteen years ago.

The small, green distribution curve at the bottom is what an engineer would hypothetically try to do to improve the situation -- make changes to tighten the distribution and shift it to the right.

Going back to my wife's one piece of data, it seems likely the units are nmol/l. The span of the "range" of her result (30 - 80) is 50. The span of Ivor's "green" range (80 - 125 nmol/l) is 45. Pretty close. The span of Ivor's "research" units (32 - 50 ng/ml) is only 18. Doesn't really compare. Fifty (50) divided by 18 is 2.78. Pretty close to the 2.5 conversion factor Ivor talked about.

Also, the top end of the range printed with my wife's result is 80, and that seems too high above Ivor's maximum of 50 ng/ml to make any sense. It looks like nmol/l is the logical fit.

If that is the case, my wife's lab results "range" would be...

12 - 32 ng/ml
30 - 80 nmol/l

Only the very top value in that range (32 ng/ml, 80 nmol/l) falls into the green. The rest is in the orange, and even well into the red. It fits the black distribution curve, which is actual results, not optimal.

My wife's single value would then be...

17.6 ng/ml
44 nmol/l

This is in the red range, deficient. It is also on the back slope of the black, USA distribution.

Although this is just one piece of data, it confirms my suspicion. My wife was deficient in sun hormone, and nobody ever said anything about it. Worse than that, by presenting the single measurement as being in the "range," it implied things were normal and okay. She never gave it a second thought, nor did I.

The values on her results were presented without units. If someone were to compare that 44 value with data typically found in the research, they would be comparing 'apples' (nmol/l) with 'oranges' (ng/ml), and might conclude that the value of 44 is in the upper half of the 32 - 50 ng/ml "green" range, and essentially the same as the optimal value of 42 ng/ml. Again, this would give the impression that things were normal and okay.

There seem to be levels of deception going on here. Yes, there is plausible deniability, but it has certainly taken a lot of work for me to get to the truth, and most people are not going to have the time, knowledge, or motivation to do that. Why would things be this way? Why would a medical business want to obfuscate the truth about vitamin D levels? As discussed in the main text, above, vitamin D is crucial for good health. Perhaps that is the key.

Healthy people do not need medical attention.

Who ARE these people?

UPDATE, June 17, 2024...

² I was thinking of cod liver oil when I wrote this.

Renumbered footnote 2 to 3 to keep them all in order in the main text.

Ruthie's

My mother has a friend who owns a timeshare condominium in Antrim County, Michigan. He had seven nights to use last year, but he was afraid of "the virus" and did not want to go there without some reconnaissance of the situation. His adult children all live out of state, and none of them were interested in traveling during the "pandemic," so he asked my wife and me if we would like to use it. He offered two periods, and one of them ended on our anniversary. I picked that one, of course!

As I was packing, I picked out some movies to take and watch. The Holy Spirit distinctly had me take our DVD copy of Dan in Real Life, starring Steve Carell.

The condominium was located in a resort near a small town not far from where our older daughter had previously lived for a year. We were familiar with much of the trip there, but we had never been in that particular community before.

We ate at restaurants at least once a day, and noticed Ruthie's Dairy Twist on the main street. We went there for dessert, and I mentioned the connection to the movie I had brought. My wife laughed, and we decided that was the movie we would watch that night.

There is a character in the movie called "Ruthie" -- "Ruthie 'pig-face' Draper," to be exact, played by a very young Emily Blunt.

The story is about a middle-aged widower, Dan (Carell), who has three school-age daughters. They travel to his parents' house for a weekend with extended family. While he is there, he meets a woman, Marie, in a bookstore, and they are very attracted to each other. It turns out that Marie is Dan's brother's new girlfriend and she is there to spend the weekend in the same house. Nobody but Dan and Marie know about this, however, so comedy ensues.

Dan's parents know he is having struggles with his kids, and it has been four years since he lost his wife, so they set him up with a date. Marie and Dan's brother agree to go with them. The date's name is Ruthie, but the guys remember her as "pig-face," apparently because she had some unfortunate facial features. As the family is waiting for her to arrive, Dan's brothers serenade him with a song about his soon-to-be porcine companion. (It's worth a listen: here.) When Ruthie shows up, she is no longer "pig-face." She's a plastic surgeon.

Dan and Marie are eventually married at the end of the movie.

My wife and I enjoyed our time at the condominium and reported conditions back to my mom's friend.

About a month later, he offered the remaining condominium nights to us. He didn't want to go, and he could not get anyone in his family interested. We readily agreed.

This second time, the trees were gorgeous and the autumn colors were at their peak. We drove around and enjoyed them. There were many political signs up at that time, too, because the general election was less than a month away.

Antrim County received considerable attention after the election because the Democrat Party candidate received significantly more votes than the Republican Party candidate. Anyone who knows that county, or had driven around it in October like we did, knows that just could not be correct. The Republican campaign signs far outnumbered those of the other party. It turned out the results were wrong, and corrections were made, but it was a huge "red flag" that something was not right. To this day, Antrim County, Michigan is the only jurisdiction in the country to have the voting machines forensically audited¹, and the report states the machines were insecure, voting results were unreproducible and computer history logs were deleted. (I have copies of both the redacted and unredacted versions of the report.) As I write this post in April of 2021, the election results are still being contested.

(Notice the triangle-shaped parking lot, with missing apex?)

That audit took place at the Antrim County Building in Bellaire. We ate at the Corner Bistro restaurant in Bellaire at least three times, and it is right next door to that county building. What did our presence have to do with the election and the audit? I have no idea, but we were there, and we had never been there before. This kind of thing has not been unusual for us, as I have discussed in other posts.

My wife died the day after Inauguration Day. Soon afterward, I realized that Dan in the movie was a widower, and that our watching that movie had foreshadowed my wife's death. I do not know what it means, if anything, but those circumstances have both produced a lot of tears, and provided a lot of comfort.

I do not know what tomorrow will bring, but as Dan's last line in the movie says, I should, "plan to be surprised."

All glory to God.

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UPDATE, June 22, 2021...

¹This Antrim County audit was a forensic audit of the voting machines only, and was in support of a lawsuit by an Antrim County resident. The court ordered a "forensic audit" be done in Antrim County, but what resulted was essentially a partial recount, which is not a forensic audit.

Patrick Colbeck is a former Michigan State Senator, and he describes what a forensic audit is at this link: letsfixstuff.org. A forensic audit collects information that can stand up in court.

The State of Arizona has completed a forensic audit of 100% of the votes cast in the Maricopa County (Phoenix), AZ 2020 November Election, and the results will apparently be made public in the middle of August, 2021. Other states are considering doing forensic audits of their 2020 elections.

UPDATE, August 30, 2022...

Since I wrote this post and last updated it, I have learned about our actual history and real American Government. These elections are not the elections we are owed on the Soil/Land Jurisdictions. They are simply proxy elections of foreign government-services corporations and only give people the impression they have a voice. They are manifestations of the Darkness and serve to divide people: "Democrats" versus "Republicans." They are a distraction and a waste of time.

Notice that symbols of the Democratic and Republican Parties are included in the "Secret Societies" graphic in the Manifestations post.

I discussed this in updates of the Authority post.

UPDATE, December 15, 2024...

Found some related screenshots while going through old photos...

November 3, 2020

November 17, 2020

Click to enlarge.

The top two images are from a photo in the online version of our local newspaper, Midland Daily News. Those are my wife's and my feet as we were voting in the 2020 U.S. Presidential Election.

My Shoes

As I have said many times, I do not believe in coincidence, not anymore.

Amazing.......