In my culture, people typically become "engaged" to be married. Often, it involves a ring.
The Bible discusses how there will be a marriage between Jesus and his bride, the church. Paul says this is a mystery in his letter to the Ephesian saints and his first letter to the Corinthian saints. If this is so, then it is essential we understand our role as a "bride" in our relationship with Jesus.
A couple must meet before they can become engaged to be married. Parents or friends might introduce them, or they may be colleagues somewhere. They might simply meet on the street, or even in a bar. God brings people together through everyday life.
A couple's initial reactions to one another might be positive, but they can also be negative. Before things can progress, the couple must reconcile any major differences. If apologies are in order, they must happen.
At some point, the two people grow close and begin to love and trust each other. They begin to believe in one another. Traditionally, the man takes the initiative to ask the woman to marry him. If she says yes, the engagement has begun. The man typically offers the woman a token to guarantee his promise to marry her, and that token is traditionally a ring.1
An engagement lasts for a period of time, and then the wedding takes place.
God uses the things of this world to help us understand the things we cannot see.
We can meet God in many different ways, just like a couple. In order for us to have a relationship with God, we must reconcile any differences we may have with him. We must realize who he is, and who we are in comparison to him. We must apologize to him. Then, we must believe in him, and begin to trust in him. We must fall in love with him.
God made his marriage proposal long ago when he sent Jesus to the cross. The way we accept that proposal is to be baptized in water. Then he gives us the guarantee of his promise to marry us -- the Holy Spirit.
As a bride, we are not yet married. We are not yet a wife. Consummation has not taken place. Our role as a bride is to prepare for the wedding. How do we do that?
Many brides focus on physical preparations for their wedding. They make a guest list, arrange the venues, order the flowers, food and a cake, and book a band for the reception party. They shop for a dress and choose clothing designs for their friends who will be part of the ceremony. There is nothing wrong with planning a great celebration because marriage is a once-in-a-lifetime and joyous thing, but some brides can become self-focused. All of us have probably encountered a bride who has become so self-focused on "her day" that we consider them to be a "bridezilla." It is an extreme situation, but it can happen.
What is the groom focusing on during the engagement? That is a good question. Anticipation of the wedding night will surely monopolize a significant portion of his thoughts, unless of course, he has already been allowed to sample the goods. In that case, he may just be waiting for it all to be over with. Our culture tends to get things wrong because sinners sin. That is unfortunate, and we miss out on what is best.
Jesus always does the right thing, and he patiently waits for us. He wants us to do what is right, and he wants us to have those things that are best.
As the collective "bride of Christ," are we getting it right? Is our engagement focused on our prospective husband, or are we focused on "our day?" Are we doing what we want to do, or are we studying him to learn his deepest needs and desires? Are we learning how to be a submissive wife, or are we becoming a "bridezilla?"
I see the "bride" doing a lot of things that are self-focused. I see worry and concern about venues and events. I see a lot of attention being paid to how people appear, and what they wear. There is arranging for music, and deciding about songs. There is the list of things to do, and printing of programs to inform attendees what is happening. There is the continual question of who is going to pay the bills.
Does the "groom" really care about any of this? What is he getting out of it? Have we thought about that? Have we asked him? Are we doing what he wants? Have we even thought about him? Are we so in love with the thought that he loves us that we have forgotten to love him in return?
As a husband, I can tell you that "love" is not the most important thing I desire from my wife. "Respect" is number one. I understand love is one of the most important things to her and I revel in lavishing it upon her. I need and desire love, too. The point is, as male and female, God has made us different in order to reflect the mysterious relationship between Christ and his people. He did that so we can get it right.
As a member of "the bride," I am trying to take the things I learn from my own marriage and apply them to my relationship with Jesus. I try to respect him by doing my best to submit to him, to ask him what he wants, and to obey him. I can sense he is pleased. This is a mystery. Understanding that mystery and telling others about it brings me grace, and it brings grace to those who hear my message.
May our focus be on our Groom, and what He desires from us. May we do this because we love Him and respect Him.
Whoever has ears to hear, let them hear.
UPDATE, October 27, 2023...
1 Added the link.